Making friends in college can seem a bit scary and challenging for some, and, exciting for others. There’s not an specific way that will assure you’ll instantly make friends in college. But, here are some tips and some things I learned about making friends during my freshman year. As some of you might know, I’m an international student, but this will be a general guide and then I’ll be writing an specific one for international students + my experiences, so stay tuned! Let’s get started, here’s a complete guide to making friends in college!
High School friends
Let’s start talking about high school friends. While high school friendships are special and unforgettable, it’s probable you might not be as close with your old high school friends in college as you used to be before. And that’s okay. It’s college, people change. Don’t forget to keep in touch when you get to college. Also, don’t be 100% sure that your high school squad will stick together through college, because chances are that it won’t. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it’s true. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be friends anymore, but as college is a new experience for you and your friends, you’ll try to fit in and eventually you’ll make new friends.
Don’t be scared of getting out of your comfort zone
There will be moments while you’re in college where you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone, and making friends might be one of them. Most schools have events during welcome week, that’s the week before classes start. It’s basically an entire week filled with events to make it easier for students to make friends. So, go to those events, and talk to people, make some friends. I know it might be a bit challenging for the shy ones out there, but honestly, you need to get out of your comfort zone in college to make the most out of it. I consider myself an introverted person and if I managed to do it, then you can too!
Keep an open mind
You could meet your new bff anywhere. Maybe at the gym, maybe in class or she could be your roomie! Don’t think you’ll necessarily make new friends in one specific place, just keep an open mind. Also, anyone could be your new friend. Don’t judge people based on their appearances.
Don’t force friendships & be yourself
I don’t know about you but I consider myself an energetic and super friendly person (when I’m in a good mood), which sometimes when I meet someone new, can come off as a bit pushy and as I’m trying to force a friendship. I’m not consciously doing it, but it comes off as too insistent and it drives people away. Understand that you don’t have to force a true friendship. It just happens, so let it happen. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to put a little effort into it, though.
And I know that “being yourself” is a bit cliche, but it’s so true. How are you supposed to make friends (true friends), if you’re not being yourself?
Just talk to people
Don’t be shy, just strike up a conversation in class, at the dining hall, at your residential hall, actually wherever and whenever. I know it might be hard to talk to stranger for some. When I first got to college I was a bit shy and striking up a conversation with complete strangers seemed like impossible. But after a couple weeks I loosened up a little bit and I started making friends. Just know that if the conversation goes sideways or is awkward, you might never see that person again, because campus is so big and there’re so many students. So don’t be scared :).
Quick tip: Get to know the people that live at your hall and in your floor. It always comes in handy, because you never know when you might need something or someone to help you with something. Plus your neighbors are automatically your friends.
Also, during orientation if you haven’t started school yet, just talk to the people in your group. You’re all in the same boat, you don’t have friends in college yet. So talk with them and keep in touch during the time before moving into college so that you at least have a person you sort of know even before college starts.
Show up a little early for class
I think one of the best times for making friends is right before class. Because people are just sitting there waiting for class to start, so it gives you a couple minutes to talk to/with them and if the conversation is just awkward, it wont’t take long before class starts interrupting that awkward conversation. So, show up like 5 minutes before a class and sit next to someone and talk to them, below are a couple conversation starters you could use.
- Hi! What’s your name? (this one is the most obvious one, but it works!)
- Give them a compliment. It could be of their clothing, style or something like that. I LOVE when people compliment my outfit or my style, it’s like I already knew it but thanks for noticing, let’s be friends.
- Comment about the weather or the class. Honestly, talking about the weather is a huge conversation starter, because it leads to various other conversation topics. The same goes with talking about classes.
- If you’re a freshman and they’re not you could always ask them about what the best restaurants around the area, or about the frats that throw the best parties or actually any college life related question you might have.
Get involved
An awesome way of making friends is to get involved around campus. Seriously, how do you expect to meet people and make friends if you stay in your dorm 24/7? There’re so many ways to get involved around campus, but my favorite one is to join an organization or to go greek. There’s basically an organization for every interest, do you like camping? I’m sure there’s an organization for that. Do you like fashion? there’s one for that too. Are you interested in politics? Yep, you guessed it, there’s an organization for that too. There’s always an organizations fair during the first couple weeks of college, and you should totally go! Just go, sign up for some and go to the first meeting. If you like them, keep going to the meetings and if you don’t feel free to just stop going.
Regarding greek life, you have to sign up for recruitment and go through the entire process. I talk about the process here and also here are 6 reasons why you should join a sorority. Anyways, joining a sorority equals making a lot of friends and automatically having sisters you can always count on. So, think about it even if you think it might not be your thing, and give it a try. I have heard so many stories about girls that hated sororities and then they joined one and now they love it! You never know if you’ll like it until you try.
But, going greek and joining an organization aren’t the only ways to get involved. You could also, volunteer or work on campus!
Don’t hide
I’ve mentioned this before, please don’t stay the entire day in your dorm. Don’t go to your dorm right after your class finished and stay there, do something around campus and get yourself out there. You’re not going to make friends in your dorm. Yes, I know it sounds pretty obvious, but it is so easy to just stay in there watching Netflix. I’ve done that. And that’s not a way of making friends, unless you’re getting to know your roommate, but even then, you shouldn’t stay in 24/7.
Tag along
If your roommate or a friend of yours is going somewhere with a couple of friends and she/he invites you, tag along! Which kinda brings me back to the fact that you should have an open mind about making friends. I know for some it might seem a bit awkward to go there by yourself only knowing one person, but it can end up being really fun and you could end up making lots of friends. You never know what could happen, so, say yes more often!
Go out and have fun
Another great way of making friends in college is to go out. You make so many friends while partying and having fun. I previously wrote this post about everything you need to know about college parties, and you should totally read it. But anyways, you can meet so many awesome people on a night out! People you might never meet otherwise, or maybe someone you’ve already seen around campus. You can also make friends at the library or at a restaurant, anywhere.
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