Struggling with self-doubt? This post is your first step in learning how to get your confidence back. Here are 9 empowering and practical tips to help you rediscover your inner strength and self-belief. As someone who has navigated the ups and downs of confidence myself, I understand the journey and am here to share with you what has worked and continues to work for me, because working on yourself and your confidence is a life-long journey. So, here’s to becoming your most confident self. This post is all about how to get your confidence back.
Stop caring about what other people think
The opinions of others are just that – opinions. Who cares what they think? Why should the opinions of people that you probably don’t even know and the opinions of people that you wouldn’t take advice from have any kind of bearing on how you feel about yourself? It really shouldn’t, yet so many of us let this happen.
It’s time to free yourself from the opinions of others. It is easier said than done, but the trick is to try your best to be aware of your thoughts and to catch yourself whenever you start caring about what someone might think about you. Once you catch yourself, reflect on why this person’s opinion might be important to you, and then let it go. Decide that what you think of yourself is above anything else, and at the end of the day, I’m sure you have better things to spend energy on than what someone might (or might not) think about.
As soon as you realize that the only person you have to impress is you, your confidence will increase.
Using fashion to boost your confidence
I have always drawn confidence from the way I dress. I truly believe that what you wear can help you feel more confident. However, I am not saying you should always dress fashionable because everyone has a different style and what I might see as fashionable, you might see as tacky.
I believe that for you to use fashion to boost your confidence, you have to wear something that you love and something that makes you feel comfortable. A bodycon-style dress looks amazing, but if I just had a meal and have to walk all over NYC, I am probably going to be more worried about the dress riding up, about the creepy men staring, about my belly full of food showing – and I won’t be feeling as confident.
You should be dressing in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, that highlights all of your favorite parts of yourself, and that compliments your natural beauty. You need to be comfortable, forgetting that saying about beauty being pain because it really doesn’t have to be.
Practice your affirmations
And before you say anything, yes they work you just need to be consistent. Looking at yourself in the mirror and saying things like “I am smart”, even though you might not believe them, can work amazingly in the long term. It is all about rewiring your brain to believe you are smart – or whatever your affirmation is.
When it comes to changing thought patterns, consistency is incredibly important. After all, you cannot expect a thought pattern that has probably taken years to form, to magically change after you said your affirmations a few times…
Add EFT tapping to your toolbox
I have found that affirmations, along with EFT tapping, work best. If you’re not familiar with EFT tapping, according to Healthline, EFT tapping focuses on tapping the 12 meridian points of the body to relieve symptoms of a negative experience or emotion.
It has been used to help people combat PTSD, anxiety, etc. So if it worked for them, EFT tapping can definitely help boost your confidence. The best part? It only takes around 5 to 10 minutes out of your day. I do it in the morning right after doing my skincare routine. There are tons of YouTube videos on it. You can use EFT tapping to relieve other negative feelings or to rewire other thought patterns you might have.
While it can be hard to recognize immediate effects, soon you’ll be feeling more confident and you’ll realize it did work!
Talk to your friends
Sometimes your friends can help you remember reasons to feel confident. We tend to forget how awesome we are – how smart, how generous, how funny – until we talk to our friends. They can truly help you get your confidence back real quick.
When I’m feeling low, sometimes all I need is to call one of my closest friends and I’m sure they’ll offer a different perspective which usually makes me feel better about myself. We truly are our worst critics so having someone tell you their point of view can help you be more compassionate with yourself.
Related: 5 Tips for Making Friends in College
Reflect on past successes
One way to build confidence is to set small achievable goals and to achieve them – that way you learn to trust yourself and to trust your capabilities. However, thinking back on our past accomplishments and on moments when we felt confident and successful, can have a similar effect. When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? Remembering these successes can remind you that you are capable and talented.
Change for yourself
We all have certain things we’d like to change about ourselves, either our appearance, personality traits or even our environment. If you have problems with the way that you look, then by all means you can do something to change that. As long as it is about making yourself happy and not other people. Perhaps you have an issue with your weight and you want to either gain or lose some. Perhaps you have an issue with the way that your nose looks, in which case, there are a lot of plastic surgeons like Andrew Jacono M.D., F.A.C.S to get this sorted.
It is okay to feel self-conscious about something – everyone has insecurities. However, the only person who can fix those insecurities is you. Don’t be afraid to make changes, as long as you are not catering to the whims and desires of other people.
Failure is part of the process
If your confidence was impacted by a recent failure, you need to understand that failing is just part of life and it is where most lessons are learned. The key to regaining your confidence is to realize that we all make mistakes and that no one is perfect.
Read self-improvement books
There are many books out there that focus on helping others regain their confidence and move past their shortcomings. So why not spend some time reading those books? At the end of the day learning how to get your confidence back is a marathon, not a sprint.
I personally recommend “You’re a Badass” by Jen Sincero and “Unfu*k Yourself” by Gary John Bishop. Why do I recommend those? If you’re not the type of person who loves to read, these books are perfect for you because they are short, easy to understand, casual, and concise.
Self-help books are actually the genre I read the most, and I keep a list of all the books on my Amazon storefront in case you’re interested in discovering other interesting self-improvement reads.
Getting your confidence back is a personal and rewarding process. The 9 steps outlined here have helped me become a more confident person and I hope they do the same for you. Embrace the journey with patience and kindness towards yourself, knowing that each step forward is a victory. Here’s to your journey towards a more confident and empowered you!
