If you haven’t heard of Danielle Bernstein or WeWoreWhat yet – you’ve probably have been living under a rock… She is one of the most successful influencers out there. Daniele Bernstein recently released her own collection at Macy’s, launched a tech company called “MOE”, has a swim line with Onia and aside from being a successful entrepreneur & influencer, she’s now a writer. I’ve admired Danielle for such a long time so when she released her book “This Is Not A Fashion Story”, I had to have it.
Click here to get “This is not a fashion story”. I bought it from Amazon and it is only $17.99. In this book she talks about everything – from how she got started as an influencer to her sex life, her failures, her family and the lessons she has learned so far. I honestly feel so much closer to her! The way this book is written is very personal – like she’s talking to a friend and I loved that. This book is super easy to read and I was hooked! Not to mention, I have learned a lot from it.
Anyways, here are the lessons I learned from her book “This Is Not A Fashion Story“.
KEEP CALM & CARRY ON
As mentioned before, Danielle talks about her sex life in this book. Starting with how she lost her virginity. But that is not the main story about this chapter, it is what happened after that is the most important. She thought she was pregnant and she was scared, so Danielle told her mom in hopes she would take her to buy a pregnancy test. Any mom would have been angry and let her emotions get in the way, but not Danielle’s mom. She was able to put aside her own feelings to be there for Danielle.
This is something we all should learn – anger is never the answer. When we are faced with challenging situations by coworkers, friends or family we should remain calm, because maybe that person won’t hesitate to come to us in the future.
SOME QUESTIONS ARE BETTER LEFT UNANSWERED
Danielle’s parents divorced and she desperately wanted to know why. But when she found out why, she regretted it instantly. Some questions are better left unanswered and we need to learn how to be okay with not knowing.
MONEY DOESN’T BUY STYLE
This was one of my favorite chapters of “This is not a fashion story”. I’ve always believed money doesn’t buy style. You could be a millionaire and still not know how to dress. Style is a combination of creativity, knowledge & self-confidence. And most importantly, it can be found at ANY price point. It doesn’t matter whether you shop at Chanel or Marshals, if you don’t know how to match & style your clothes.
Danielle grew up in a wealthy neighborhood where her classmates wore designer clothes, however her parents refused to buy designer clothes, because they considered it was a waste of money. After the divorce of her parents, she was given a quarterly budget to shop. She had to think long and hard on how and where to spend that money. Danielle grew up shopping at Macy’s and Century 21, she had to think strategically to buy items that were versatile.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BITCH WORK
Danielle landed an internship at G-III, a company that owns Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger & others. She was excited about this internship and thought it would be glamours. Unfortunately, the internship consisted of steaming clothes at a fashion closet and running errands all day.
This might not be as common in other industries, however in the fashion industry everyone does bitch work. It is like a tradition in this industry, a prerequisite for any other glamorous jobs. That tedious work has to be done by someone and what better than an underpaid intern. There is also no immediate gratification in the fashion industry. The good part thought, is that there is room for growth, you’re encouraged to ask as many questions as you want and you can make mistakes because after all there’s not a lot you can lose.
Things aren’t handed to you and you need to understand that even after hard work, success isn’t guaranteed. Whenever Danielle is getting a big head, she reminds herself she’s only a fashion closet intern.
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen. Danielle made the first move on a guy, which led to a 2 year long relationship and it was her first love. Don’t be scared to make the first move. Don’t be scared of rejection. Whether it is in your romantic life or professional life, you never know what could happen.
FACE THE PATH OF MOST RESISTANCE
She went to the University of Wisconsin to have a typical college experience. But after a while she felt like there was not a lot more she could learn from frat parties. Besides her school didn’t have a fashion major. And that’s why she decided to transfer to NYC to the Fashion Institute of Technology.
Honestly, when reading this chapter I related so much I even felt goosebumps. The same thing happened to me. I used to go to the University of Cincinnati and after one year and a half I had enough. It felt like I was trapped and there were no opportunities for me to grow in the fashion industry. Besides people dressed down all the time and it felt like I didn’t fit in. I’m not even kidding – once I wore a camel coat to class and everyone thought I had a job interview…
I’m not going to say it was an easy decision to make. I left my comfort zone, my sorority sisters and moved even further away from family to chase my dreams. Sometimes you have to put all your feelings and emotions aside and think about what is the best for you and what will get you one step closer to your dreams.
You can read more here and why I transferred + moved to NYC.
BETTER ALONE THAN IN BAD COMPANY
Danielle ignored the red flags of her boyfriend and didn’t listen to her gut. If you suspect something is going with your partner, it most likely is. She never again dated someone who would make her feel less than.
FOLLOW YOUR PASSION
After moving to NYC, she started her blog WeWoreWhat. She followed her passion, which led her to start a blog and dedicate a lot of time into it. Her blog was initially to show her friends from Wisconsin, what people wore in NYC – at the Fashion Institute of Technology to be specific.
I go to FIT and I can attest that every day when I get to campus it feels like I just opened Pinterest or like I’m going to the met gala… Everyone has amazing style and it brings me so much inspiration! No matter how well you think you dress there’s always someone who dresses better than you.
STAY AHEAD OF THE CURVE
When Instagram first came around, she started taking pictures of herself and posting them. She slowly realized that while people couldn’t have access to her blog 24/7, they did have their phones on them 24/7 and that’s why she started focusing more on Instagram.
Danielle paid attention to what her readers wanted + what the market was demanding. Which everyone know that is the principle of supply and demand and the reason why her blog took off like it did. If something resonated well with her readers she gave them more of it. If the industry asked for something she leaned into it.
A piece of advice is that while all of us are work in progress, we need to be ready to change day by day. One of the best things we can learn is how to adapt and change. Change can be scary and complicated for some, but if you manage to make it easier for you, then you’re already ahead.
TAKE THE PLUNGE
Dnielle went to FIT but never graduated. She is another success story of a college drop-out. The reason she dropped out? She was having a hard time to focus on WWW and school. She wanted to prioritize her business and so she put together a powerpoint for her dad. The deal was that she had 6 months to make her business profitable and if that didn’t work out she would go back to school.
The lesson here is that you should follow your dreams. Unless you want to be a doctor or lawyer, there is not cookie-cutter path to success. Make your own.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO GET HELP
As her blog grew she wasn’t able to handle it all and it was time to get help. That is where Moe comes in. One of the biggest tips she gives in her book is to not micromanage. And that is what she did when she hired Moe. She sacrificed complete control in order to grow. She accepted that she couldn’t do it all and learned to let go.
LIVE WITH A STRANGER AND THEN MOVE
If you didn’t know already living in Manhattan is very expensive, which is why most people get roommates. If you’re lucky you have friends who have the same budget and preferences as you and you can live together. However, if you don’t, that roommate could be a stranger.
Unlucky for her, that stranger happened to be crazy girl. She moved out never again would she live with someone she wasn’t sleeping with.
USE YOUR TIME WISELY
Time is money and it’s the only thing you can never get more of. Prioritize your time and learn to say no. Decide whether the time commitment is worth it or not.
INTRO CONTINUED
In the intro of “This is not a fashion story”, she tells the story of how she decided to write a book. Despite her friends telling her not to, because revealing her sex life to the public was going to affect her image. She trusted her gut and went for it.
She also talks about her “Samantha Summer” where she wasn’t looking for a relationship – just fun. And I personally think that’s a type of summer every girls should have before jumping into a serious relationship.
KISS A LOT OF FROGS
The thing I love the most about “This is not a fashion story” is how personal she gets. This book isn’t about fashion, hence the title “This is not a fashion story”. It is about business, boys and the life of a 20 something year old.
We’ve all been on awful dates and while we might we clearly didn’t meet the love of our life, at least we have a funny story to tell. Say yes to more experiences.
AND THEN MEET A NICE GUY
She met a nice guy and that’s how a 3 year relationship started. You’re worthy of someone nice that supports you, helps you grow and treats you like a queen. After all, there’s no time to waste on assholes.
ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG
One advice Danielle’s mother gave her was: ” find someone who loves you more than you love them and don’t let them go”. Daniele says that that’s wrong because you should find someone whom you not only love, but also are in love with.
VET YOUR BUSINESS PARTNERS LIKE YOU WOULD YOUR ROMANTIC ONES
A couple years ago, Danielle launched a shoe line called Archive Shoes. And if you haven’t heard of them is probably because they went out of business. Danielle’s partner who handled production decided to switch from a factory in Italy to one in china to lower cost and maximize profits, but he also compromised quality. He did all of that without even consulting Danielle and he didn’t give her a dime.
No matter how much you research, people who work with you can still surprise you. There’s no way to protect yourself 100%, which is why you should think long and hard before partnering with someone. Also, if you’re an influencer, it is hard to say no to money especially when there’s bills to pay. But doing so is the only way to remain authentic and protect your brand.
NEVER LET LOVE BLIND YOU
After another failed relationship Danielle was devastated and here’s a list of red flags to look out for.
- Making too many excuses for him
- When he avoids your friends
- His criticism wasn’t constructive
- He was controlling
- He didn’t show up
She ignored her gut because she was in love. But before dating anyone you have to learn to love yourself first. At the end of the day you can’t change people, but you can change yourself. And the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
EXECUTION IS EVERYTHING
A piece of advice Danielle’s father gave her is: “Whatever you design, think long and hard about your first product. Make sure it is something you know intimately – something you use on your day to day. That way you know you can do it better than anyone else.”
And so she decided to launch Second Skin Overalls. Here is a list of the advice she gives when starting your company.
- Be careful with whom you trust
- Find the right warehouse
- Find the right factory and focus on ethics, quality, transparency & efficiency
- Trademark your brand’s name
- Don’t try to do everything by yourself and don’t micromanage
- Learn from your mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up over them because mistakes happen. What you do next and how you grow is what defines you as an entrepreneur.
A TWIST OF FATE
We all know Danielle has her own line of swimsuits with Onia. It all started when she was invited to an influencer trip with Onia, which ended up being a huge fail. She still posted on social media and the swimsuit she wore on her post sold out. Which opened communication with the CEO of Onia.
MARRY THE BRANDS
This is an advice for influencers: Marry the brands you work with. It creates trust among your followers, advertisers and the people you work with. Nowadays, consumers are see ads all the time on social media, and it doesn’t cut it anymore to only post once or twice about a brand you supposedly love and recommend. It fails to show authenticity. Your followers want to know you have vetted the brand and are personally committed to them.
DOUBLE DOWN WHEN YOU FIND A GOOD PARTNER
Having a good partner allows you to focus on other aspects.
BE MORE THAN AN INFLUENCER
And that is the last piece of advice on “This is not a fashion story”. Danielle talks about her involvement in Highline wellness – a CBD company. She basically pulled a Beyonce – she asked for equity instead of payment. Look for ways to grow and diversify yourself as a business woman, don’t be just an influencer.
I loved “This is not a fashion story”! It was relatable, funny and educational. I encourage you to get it, obviously you know more about the book by reading this post, but it’s not the same thing. If you get the book you won’t regret it as she goes into so much more details that I omitted here. Click here to buy “This is not a fashion story” on Amazon – it is only $17.99.
