150+ Sarcastic and Funny New Year’s Captions for Instagram

Finding the perfect Instagram caption can be as challenging as sticking to those New Year’s resolutions. That’s why I’ve crafted 150+ Sarcastic and Funny New Year’s Captions for Instagram to add just the right amount of sass and humor to your holiday posts. You’ll definitely find something for your Instagram posts here, from captions for photos with bae, to captions for those actually sticking to their resolutions this year. This list of New Year’s captions for Instagram exists to make your caption hunt effortless. So, let’s dive in!

Sarcastic captions

• I’m still the same delightful problem I was last year.
• 365 new days, 365 same old excuses.
• Can’t wait to control-alt-delete this year.
• Plot twist: This year I’ll procrastinate more.
• I’m about to put the ‘new’ in ‘I knew I shouldn’t have done that.’
• New Year, new reasons to use my “I’ll start on Monday” excuse.
• “This is my year,” I say for the fifth year in a row.
• I love it when the ball drops. It reminds me of my commitment level.
• So excited to mess up the date for the next three months.
• Celebrating the fact that I kept none of my resolutions last year.
• I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
• Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser.
• If 2023 was a movie, I’d demand a refund.
• Keeping my standards low so I won’t be disappointed this New Year.
• This year will be different… said everyone last year.
• Who needs a countdown? I’ve been ready for 2024 since June.
• New Year’s resolution: Stay away from people asking about my love life.
• 2024: Maybe this year I’ll become a morning person… but probably not.
• I’d like to thank coffee for getting me through 2023.
• Why yes, I am carrying my emotional baggage into 2024, thanks for asking.
• 2024: Let’s pretend I’m going to start that fitness journey… tomorrow.

Funny captions

1. New Year, same me, because why mess with perfection?
2. Resolutions? I thought you said reservations.
3. New Year’s Resolution: Switch from being a night owl to a slightly earlier night owl.
4. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my sparkling rose.
5. Just here for the midnight selfie, then I’m out.
6. This year’s goal: Be more of a ‘why not?’ instead of a ‘maybe later.’
7. Cheers to making more questionable decisions in 2024!
8. New Year’s resolution: Less doomscrolling, more dance parties in my room.
9. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
10. I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it.
11. This year I’ll be a more mysterious me. Starting with not telling you my resolutions.
12. I’m just here for the champagne and sequins.
13. Spoiler alert: It’s still me.
14. I’m only staying up until midnight to make sure 2023 leaves.
15. The only thing getting a ‘new year, new me’ makeover is my Netflix watchlist.
16. Midnight snacks instead of midnight kisses.
17. Here’s to another year of pretending I know what I’m doing.
18. New year, same me because I’m already awesome.
19. A toast to me, because surviving 2023 was no joke!
20. 9 p.m. is the new midnight.
21. Thank U, Next – Me to 2022.
22. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
23. New Year’s resolution: Figure out what to do with all those saved TikToks.
24. Entering 2024 like I enter most rooms: confused but enthusiastic.
25. This year’s vibe: ‘Do not disturb’ on a spiritual level.

Related: 70+ Cute & Funny Winter Captions for Instagram

Cute captions

1. New Year’s Resolution: Less bitter, more glitter.
2. I’m on a strict diet this year – I only eat cake on days ending in ‘Y.’
3. This year’s vibe: less please, more thank you.
4. This year, I’ll live each day like it’s my last cup of coffee.
5. New year. New feels. New chances. Same dreams.
6. Walking into 2023 like ✨
7. Page one of 365.
8. “This could be the start of something new.” — High School Musical
9. “525,600 minutes. How do you measure a year in a life?” —Rent
10. “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” — Oprah
11. I’m ready for midnight kisses that lead to New Year’s wishes.
12. Here’s to 12 new chapters!
13. Cheers to making more ‘oops’ than ‘what ifs’ this year.
14. Walking into the New Year like I own it, because why not?
15. Just here trying to make my pet Instagram famous this year.
16. Plot twist: I actually stick to my New Year’s resolutions this time.
17. Trading in my 2023 worries for 2024 possibilities.
18. This year’s mood: Positive vibes and oversized hoodies.
19. 2024 motto: Less stress, more sunsets.
20. Channeling my inner main character energy this year.
21. Ready to strut into 2024 with confidence and a little bit of sass.
22. Going into the New Year with hope and a fully charged phone.
23. Just a reminder: You’re doing amazing, sweetie, especially in 2024.
24. 2024, let’s be all about laughs, love, and late-night snacks.
25. Keeping my spirits high and my carbon footprint low this year.
26. Embracing the New Year with an open heart and a full Netflix queue.
27. This year’s vibe: Thriving, not just surviving.

Flirty New Year’s captions

1. Taking applications for my New Year’s kiss.
2. My New Year’s resolution? More lipstick and more you.
3. Ready to steal a midnight kiss… any volunteers?
4. Let’s be each other’s reason to break our New Year’s resolutions.
5. Looking for someone to be the champagne to my New Year’s Eve.
6. Can I be your New Year’s resolution?
7. This year’s forecast: mostly flirty with a chance of romance.
8. Here’s to a New Year and to getting closer to you.
9. This year, I’m stealing more than just a midnight kiss from you.
10. Ready for my New Year’s kiss. 3… 2… 1…
11. New Year, new us? Let’s find out.
12. This year, let’s make more than just eye contact.
13. Looking forward to 365 opportunities to flirt with you.
14. New Year’s resolution: Find someone who looks at me the way I look at fireworks.
15. Hey 2024, make sure I’m not single by the end of you.
16. Looking for someone to share my New Year’s Eve Uber with.
17. I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, I just need your number.
18. This year, I’m only falling for someone who can keep up with my meme game.

New Year’s captions for couples

1. This year, I’m resolving to say ‘yes’ to more dates with you.
2. Here’s to making more memories with you in 2024.
3. My only New Year’s plan is falling more for you.
4. Ready to ring in the New Year with you by my side.
5. This year, I’m stealing more than just a midnight kiss from you.
6. Counting down to a New Year and hoping you’re my midnight kiss.
7. Counting down to a New Year and hoping you’re my midnight kiss.
8. New Year’s Eve checklist: Confetti, champagne, and you.
9. Plot twist: We swiped right and it wasn’t a disaster.
10. We’re the ‘leave the party early to get snacks’ kind of couple.
11. Rolling into the New Year with my favorite troublemaker by my side.
12. This year’s biggest flex: still not sick of each other.
13. Here’s to another year of stealing your hoodies and your heart.
14. My favorite part of the New Year? More you.
15. 2024: We’re here to make memories and ignore resolutions.
16. We’re just two peas in a pod, ready to take on 2024.
17. Here’s to being each other’s midnight kiss, every year.
18. Our New Year’s resolution? Keep being that couple everyone’s rooting for.

If you have goals

1. Manifesting nothing but good vibes and strong Wi-Fi this year.
2. 2024: The year my vision board becomes my reality.
3. Manifesting my dreams into my to-do list this New Year.
4. Vision boards, positive vibes, and a lot of hustle this year.
5. My 2024 mantra: Manifest, work hard, and keep your plants alive.
6. Here’s to a year of crushing goals and making new ones.
7. New Year, new goals, same drive and determination.
8. 2024 is all about turning my ‘coulds’ into ‘wills.’
9. Vision board: Created. Goals: Set. 2024: Let’s do this.
10. Keeping my dreams big and my worries small this year.
11. Stepping into the New Year with goals as high as my expectations.
12. New Year’s motto: Visualize, then actualize.
13. 2024: More action, less daydreaming.
14. This year, my vibe is all about manifesting and progressing.
15. Goals so big they scare me a little – that’s the 2024 mood.
16. Turning my vision board into a checklist, one dream at a time.
17. Here’s to making every day count towards my dreams.
18. My New Year’s resolution: Manifest, believe, achieve.
19. Dreaming it, then doing it – that’s my 2024 plan.
20. This year, I’m turning ‘I wish’ into ‘I will.’
21. 2024: The year of making things happen.
22. Building my empire one goal at a time this year.
23. Manifesting a 2024 that’s as fabulous as my favorite filter.

Whether you’re toasting to new beginnings, sharing your New Year’s resolutions, or just capturing a fun moment, these New Year’s captions for Instagram are here to elevate your Instagram game. Here’s to a year filled with joy, laughter, and lots of memorable Instagram posts. Cheers to 2024!